if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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