I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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