I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i've created a new STD.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
