Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
