I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Randomize
