You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
