so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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