...so i touched it.
this just has baby written all over it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
