Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am one with the molecules
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
