Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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