I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you inspire me to be a worse person
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
