Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize