As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
