Duck Duck Cougar?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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