my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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