I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
