his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize