I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
