I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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