and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
