anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
