Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
