Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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