it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
