so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have aggressive nipples.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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