Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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