I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
