Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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