a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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