once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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