my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.