Cold hands, warm shart.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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