oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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