I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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