we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
