we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
