If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
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He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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