We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
