Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
