At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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