What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
