Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
