yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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