I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize