brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
