It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
