I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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