My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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