she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
