He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The power of my boobs compel you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
