the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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