Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
