Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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