Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
