Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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Just invented taco cereal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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