member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
