I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
